Unlicensed Relationship Therapist

Love is like a fart. If you push it too hard, you end up with shit.

POF Part 2 The DGAF Approach.

This, by far has been my most successful dating method thus far. I composed a profile that tested my assumptions that women are attracted to confident and often arrogant men.  Most of my profile is actually me, or the way I would never display myself normally. My results have been outstanding to say the least. I do not approach women with this profile, they come to me, 15 hits in 3 days.  5 dates and two of them were 9 and 9.5.

So here it is.

Take a deep breath and hold on. Why? Because I don’t screw around! My profile is pure raw magic that you will not find anywhere else. It’s that desire and need that you ache for, if you can handle it.
Being a self-proclaimed master of social psychology, I have tailored a profile that will weed out women that most men do not want…what’s this you write? Well yeah, my results have been that I’ve been meeting some really freaking awesome women who are actually attractive, intelligent, and very, very confident. Confidence is the key, because I’ll know you have a smidgen of it if you message me. Again I don’t screw around with rank amateurs, you have to be over a certain level deal with me or you’ll just get steamrolled and left wondering “WTF just happened”?

Scared off yet? Well if not, by all means continue. It just gets better or worse….

1. I’m a typical guy. Not “different” or “special” than any other guy, though this seems to be the #1 criterion for any chick on a dating site. Now if your standards are that high….well sister, enjoy watching the Lifetime Channel with your cats, or dating wuss bags. My personal standards are realistic. I am currently single, been trapped (divorced) twice, and have two children. For a guy like me, that’s not bad, I’m well aware that as creatures filled with cunning and deceit you will attempt to trap me again….good luck getting past my bronze plated chastity belt!

2. I’m totally not BF material; any attempts to change or manipulate me off my path in life will not work. I do not flip-flop, ask you where you want to go, or kiss ass in any way. I’m sure my Kryptonite girl is out there somewhere (I can sense her lurking at a distance…judging me) and when we cross paths it will be an epic battle that I’ll most likely lose.

3. Warning, if bathrooms are full, I will piss outside or in a sink. On the flip side I have no problem if you do the same. I do have table manners but can switch to caveman in 1.2 seconds.

4. If we go out, and trust me that’s a big IF concerning quality of chicks flooding my inbox lately. A collaborating dress code is a must. I have standards and you MUST look good next to me. By all means, feel free to critique my choice in outerwear, this is a two-way street. Suit, tux, jeans, flannel…I can pull if all off.

5. Take heed. I flirt, all the time, with everyone. So you’ll need a bit of self-esteem to hang with me.

6. If you weigh more than me, I’m not interested. Remember rejection builds character and confidence! Trust me I have metric ass ton of both and its growing daily.

7. Dating is fun; I have no expectations on the first date, so neither should you.

8. I’m not here to go out with your smart phone, so if we are out, show some class and stay off of yours.

Is your interest piqued? Read on, it gets better or worse…..if you dare.

9. I am a huge cinema buff, the typical guy interests that men have these days. I like MILF hunter, anal, gonzo, POV, and DP, I stay away from the bi-sex unless it’s FFM, teen stuff is nasty, and lesbian is for girls. I love the classic’s from the 50’s, 70’s muscle car chases are good, and I enjoy horror and drama flicks. :) I’m kidding…not really..lol.

10. I live in the middle of nowhere, why you ask? Because I hate traffic.

11. I can dance, but only after two beers. I tend to lose interest unless I’m grinding on (I mean dancing with) someone, or a pillar. If you’re a wallflower it won’t work out.

12. I truly believe that I exude pheromones that attract the crazy type. So if you are the least bit “off balance” in the mental department, have no fear, we will get along great. If not, my extensive training in psychology acts like mental spinach, and keeps me safe.

13. I have no fear of the Taboo (if you haven’t figured that out yet….). So let’s talk sex because it happens. If you’re under the age of 30 you’ll have a hard time with me. Why? Let’s face it biology isn’t your friend and your sex drive stinks compared with older women ;) yeah there are exceptions but you’ll have to convince me. I love teasing, touching, kissing. and seduction. So if you’re the type who doesn’t like foreplay we won’t get along…..lol

NOW STOP READING!!!!! GO CHECK YOUR INBOX. I bet you that in the time you have taken to read this far you have received half dozen messages from other guys, screw them they suck anyway, with canned lines, and lies. You’re reading pure gold with me ;) Trust me I’m smarter, more cunning, more challenging than any man or woman on this site. I’m not for beginners, if you happen to fall into the beginner category I suggest closing my profile and answering those entry-level, illiterate, mouth-breathers, hoping to flood your inbox…lol…..with pictures of their junk in front of a dirty toilet. Unlike these other idiots, I know how to use spell shecker ;)

I’m a total professional (as you can obviously tell from my profile), living the dream life that most women would kill for. You can hate me all you want but if you’re nice I’ll show you how it’s done. My career leaves me little room to meet people in public; so having an awesome site like POF is the best way to meet interesting professional, goal oriented, and career focused women that dare to dream about settling down with an awesome housewife like me.

So there you have it…thirteen reasons to message me. You know what is funny? You just spent all this time reading this so I know you’re at least interested or maybe a bit intrigued to figure this out….it’s the green button below. Click it, think of something to write then press send.


Xxoo….let’s walk on the beach………hahahaha.

 

First Date

I recently returned to the dating pool after several long months abroad. It blew. There was nothing to do but booze, waterfalls, sunsets, and sex. However I did develop a taste in Spanish speaking women, so if you speak any, I will raise your hotness scale by 3 points automatically. You’re a 5? Now you’re an 8. Pretty cool of me huh? Now if you’re nervous about being a lighter or darker tone, have no fear. I’m a non-discriminatory dater :) as long as you smell good, can actually kiss, and don’t mind the occasional pinch on the ass, you’ll do fine. Trust me!

ps. You must be funny, dorky, willing to open doors for me, bring me flowers to work or at least cookies, not be afraid of running from trouble, or getting dirty while slaving over a hot camp stove while I clean fish.